My Biggest Fear...COMMITMENT!

As I look back into my life, I realized that I have it good. Both my parents are still together and have been married for 24 years, I'm an only child so my family STILL spoils me to this day, and I'm an official University of Wisconsin Alumni. So there not a lot of things I can complain about. But if I do have to pick one flaw about me, it would have to be COMMITMENT!

Love, Yea I heard this word a lot in the last...Oh 5-6 years of my life. To be honest I heard it so much that I ran away from it. As stupid it may sound, I had women give me the world and I give them the answer like I gave every other girl...MAN I'M GOOD. I'M JUST TRYING TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL AND FOOTBALL. Man what a punk I was now that I think about it. I mean I was focueds on what I wanted to accomplish in life. Yes, some women can definitely slow you down. But looking back on it over the years the lord has "Introduced Me" to really GOOD WOMEN. I mean I'll run out of fingers and toes on how many GOOD, BEAUTIFUL, QUALITY, SMART women I've met that wanted to do anything and everything for me just to be with me and keep me happy. And they always say the same thing to me, "OH I DON'T WANT A MAN RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS. I KNOW YOUR SITUATION WITH SCHOOL AND FOOTBALL. I JUST WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU"...CHILD PLEASE....

Me, being the nice guy that I am, I love to be friends with anybody and everybody. But it never fails, girls will get deeper and deeper feelings for me because she never met a guy like me thanks to her EX'S that treat her like a dog. Or the 2nd time we see each other we "SOMEHOW" end up having sex and now emotions and feelings are everywhere now. We all know females are more emotional than males, but when a man tells you that HE'S NOT TRYING TO GET SERIOUS ANY TIME SOON, but you think you can change his mind by having sex with him, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK! You can't get mad at anybody but yourself. It never fails. But the women that I'd be in these situations with, these women are in EVERY BLACK MAN'S DREAMS. Who's stupid enough to say, "No I'm not ready to go out with you"....ME...WHY, WHO KNOWS?

During my college years and up to now, I've manage to see and go through a lot of different things in my life. I've seen my homeboys be in relationships (Close & Long), I seen my homeboys cheat on their girlfriends, I've seen my homeboy's girlfriends cheat on my them, and I went through so call many "Open-Relationships" with girls during college (I never heard of Open Relationship until Facebook came up with it LOL). Now we're not all perfect, and the society we live in today is NOTHING like the ones our parents grew up in (Imagine what our kids are going to have to go through). My Father raised my mother great. My mom talks about all the time how she "Lucked Out" into bumping in to my father. Dad went to work everyday, managed to coach me from age 4 all the way through High School, and still had the time to keep my mother satisfied. So you would think I'd be the "Relationship" kind of guy, but I'm far from it. The situations I've been in for the past 5 years of my life hasn't given me the chance to fall in love with anybody yet. All these situations thaught me a lot of things about relationships, and the main thing I got out of this whole deal was NEVER GET IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOUR READY TO GIVE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER ALL THE ATTENTION SHE DESERVES!

Now my father and all the men in my family told me the same thing..."Women are ALWAYS going to be there". And I have to find this true. As my brother from other mother first told me when we first moved in together in college, "P*ssy is like water...It's 75% of the earth!" LOL. We men have the advantage when it comes to the saying "On To The Next". But when you have something so good in front to you, why wouldn't you just stay put and stay with that person? Being in this situation more than once (And I do mean MORE THAN ONCE) I will be a man now and call it GREEDY & IMMATURE! When I say this, I'm not talking about having a relationship and cheating on your BF/GF (Because that's wrong too) I'm talking more about staying single and available for any woman that wants to take a chance with you. Some people call it being a Bachelor; some people call it being a Pimp/Playa, but what ever you want to call its Greedy, Immature, or Both!

I always told myself that I'll never get serious until after I reach age 25. But as of right now, I kind of want to settle down and just get with a girl. And treat her like I know how to treat a lady. To be honest, this is the most I ever felt this way ever. There's a lot of candidates out there that show me that they can be the lady for me at this very moment. But that's the problem, there too many good ones to pick. I guess you can say I have a "Good Problem" on my hands (If that's even possible) but the other problem I got is that I can't quite get over that "Commitment" hump like I want to. Plus, if I do start a relationship with somebody else, how am I going to explain to the women that are "In Love" with me that I'm with somebody else now? We all know y'all ladies are crazy when it comes to love (LOL its true). I can hear women now saying "Grow Some Balls Punk" LOL. Yes, life isn't fair. And yes, I've got to do whats best for me. But at the end of the day, I'm too nice and care about people feelings to much.

That "I'm young, I want to DO ME and HAVE FUN" line is getting played out now. I'm tired of saying that. I talked to enough women to make a 30 yr. old man feel like he needs to step his game up. LOL I did this "Single Life" thing for a long time, and I have it down to a T. Even though you can do whatever you want when you're single, here's are some negative to being single...

Negatives

When you're lonely..that's what you are..LONELY!

I realized that juggling more than 1 woman, let alone 3,4,or 5, is hard work. Like having 2 jobs and one of them you're not getting paid for LOL!

You gotta keep your game tight because you're single. You still can't let a girl know you're talking to other women. Women like to feel special in almost every situation..And that's hard work when you're dealing with only 1 girl.

You can't have sex whenever you want. Most of the time you're "Trying to take advantage of the OPPORTUNITIES when they come to you", LOL

These are just a few of the things I've encountered while being single. Now, I know there some people thinking "Jaevery is crazy, he know damn well girls are gonna read this" LOL. Yes, I know that, but trust me, single women are more dangerous than single men. They can be ruthless, LOL. That another topic...Back to me...But as of right now I really feel like I want to settle down. But I still feel something holding me back from "Fully Committing" to do this. From something as stupid as a freaking "Facebook Relationship Status" to having to answer people that ask me "Do you have a GF"? I want to be able to commit and start a relationship, but I'm scared to fully commit and I don't know why. Hey, at least I'm being a man and admitting it, some of yall ladies are getting cheating on you right now and you don't even know it...or you do know it but you just give it the "Cold Shoulder" SMH. I don't believe in cheating, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND and KARMA is a B*tch. But I'll get over this fear soon, but as for right now...Pray for me that I get over this, because I want to! :)